Friday, May 25, 2007

Ode to Unchi

Unchi being the Japanese word for poop. If you don't like poop-talk, this isn't the post to read. But first, an explanation of the photo (although really, isn't it already worth a thousand words?). This was taken just hours before Chloe's baptism. (I wanted to post it then, but somehow it just didn't thematically fit.) Do you see the cute little sparkling-white outfit behind her on the bed? Right, so good timing, Chlo-chan! Anyway, in addition to the prodigious amounts of poo you see here, be sure to notice the grin on her face. Chloe loooooooves to poop! Or loves having pooped, anyway. It happened earlier this week. Mike had already left for work, and I had just finished feeding Chloe. I was laying in bed and she was sitting on my stomach, jabbering and laughing and trying to grab her toes. I looked out the window for a moment, considering whether I might be able to put her back down and sleep just a little bit longer, and when I looked back I knew just the briefest moment of horror... In an instant Chloe's face had turned beet-red and she gave a great grunt! followed by an explosion of unchi straight out the sides of her drawers. I frantically looked around for something to help mitigate this growing disaster as the warm yellow goo-fest flowed across my stomach and ever-closer to our sheets, finally nabbing a burp cloth which will never be the same (alas, not quite in time for the sheets). And as I laid there, absolutely covered in poo, with a baby on my belly absolutely covered in poo, this poo-covered baby laughed. And laughed. And laughed. Not grinned, not chuckled, but laughed a great belly laugh of the sort that is typically reserved for Mike and his funny faces and farting noises, the kind of laugh that I can never get out of her. Whether it was the look on my face or the fun feeling of all that stickiness around her, Chloe thought the whole situation was absolutely hysterical. And in spite of it all, I have to admit that it was pretty funny. Ahhhh, unchi. One of the most unexpected delights of parenthood. In non-unchi news, Chloe has had quite a week, getting both her first shots and her first tooth. She's working on number two even as we speak. Apparently she missed the memo that recommended she give her mama a few more months of that gummy smile. :)


Anonymous Anonymous said...

The gigantic poops may be genetic. One of your B. cousins (who shall remain nameless, but is not the oldest or youngest)had the same propensity in that department. He would be covered from knees to nipples. We had him trained to do this mainly when a babysitter was in charge. One poor girl had to call her mother in for reinforcement.
Aunt Mary

At least Choloe had the sense to do it before her baptism. We had a baptism not long ago where the baby thought being in front of the congregation with his parents would be a good time. As the parents are trying to listen and answer the questions he let loose. Poor mom was bent over trying to clean up the church carpet. The baptism was postponed for several minutes until they took him out and cleaned him up. I hope they have a copy of the video!

5/25/2007 11:01:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Okay, give me a minute here. I'm looking for a theme. Motorcycles, the Lord's Supper, home mortgages, and, and . . . oh, yes, unchi. Focus, girl, focus!

Advice from an anonymous grandparent. Lead with the tooth - perhaps a photo of a smiling baby with just a hint of an erupting tooth. Eruptions of other kinds? Been there, seen that done. In grandparentland babies are little s**tless wonders. Don't spoil the illusion.

Oh, a note to both great aunts and new mothers. Consider the psychic trauma of being a few notches shy of your fortieth birthday and having your infantile bowl habits being spread across THE WORLD WIDE WEB! (And to the nameless "Divad Ssor", welcome to Peter Pan Land where you can never grow up.)

But if you want to make it really interesting, "Next time get it on video, you could get it in cash." Good night Tom.

[That's "spotless." Get your mind out of the gutter.]

5/25/2007 10:37:00 PM  
Blogger Heidi Sue said...


This is a fantastic post - I'm recommending it to all my friends. :-) Samara had a few of those unchi-blowouts... but since she's started solids, her poops are pebbly or rocky - multi-colored - and MUCH stinkier. :-/

Samara at almost 9 months - has NOOO teeth. A baby boy from our church - born the same day as S - has 8... Eight! Craziness.

2 more months... cannot WAIT


5/30/2007 09:23:00 AM  
Blogger Meika said...

I guess it may have been a better thematic fit than I thought! For the baptism post, that is. I think one of our Japanese ladies would've fainted dead away if we'd gotten poop on the carpet! I've never seen such obsessive cleanliness - but that's another post. I claim no thematic unity for the blog as a whole, by the way - it reflects my life, which also has no thematic unity. :)

Advice taken - Please note the "smiling baby with erupting tooth" in the latest post.

I'd been reading about the wide variation in when teeth arrive ever since someone asked me if she was teething at the sage age of eight weeks. Turns out she was - but it's really, really unusual for a three-month-old to get a tooth and early teeth are more prone to decay (this was, by the way, a great excuse to get a really cute Miffy toothbrush). Sounds like Samara's at the other end of the spectrum! How funny.

Stay tuned for "Potty-training an Almost-Four-Month-Old", coming sooner with every blow-out...

5/31/2007 01:32:00 AM  

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